Then I went to college and I remember thinking, "I don't want ANY kids. I want a bachelor's degree, a master's degree - I want to be capable of supporting myself."
And then somewhere in there life happened, and dreams were abandoned, new paths were taken and life got messy. Life has a way of getting people lost in the midst of circumstances, situations, and good and bad decisions.
Fortunately, there is a bigger plan, and all the mess really has a purpose.
As I was talking to a cousin here in Dallas, I experienced an epiphany like never before; the desires of my heart - from those high school and college days - each one has been met. In full. I HAVE a loving husband. I HAVE my children (granted, it is not five, and I certainly have more than none, but I have the kiddos I was intended to have). I HAVE a degree and can contribute to our family financially.
"He who did not spare His own son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?"
"Delight yourself in The Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart."
1) There is a plan.
A.) there is a reason we felt like we were not given a lot of hope and were redirected to an abortion clinic in Texas.
B.) there is a reason we were referred to Medical City.
C.) there is a reason we met the doctors and nurses, surgeons and specialists that we did.
2) God knows the desires of our hearts - the TRUE desires of our hearts.
3) we may not know the plan.
4) we may not know our own desires.
5) it's ok.
And what is truly amazing is that our story is not limited to us or Ethan, Liam, Emmett, or Owen. There was a plan for the doctors, surgeons, nurses, and specialists who helped us along the way, and who continue helping us. Each individual person had trainings, life experiences, circumstances, chance meetings, and gained understanding in their own messy lives that helped prepare them to help my babies. I can bet that each one of our medical family has a great story of their own.
But this is not the beginning or the end of a story. Emmett and Owen are a very huge miracle in the lives of me, Dave, Ethan, Liam, and the rest of our family, and possibly even to our medical family, but in the grand scheme of things, they are another step in a direction of God's plan. And that, my dear friends, is amazing.
Emmett and Owen are continuing to recover. Yesterday, they both had minor procedures to keep them on the road to recovery. They both had slight fevers today, but the nurses told me to not get discouraged; these fevers are overcomable. They also encourage me daily that there will be bumps in the road.
They are beautiful, they are doing well, and they have many hands to take care
of them, both here on earth and up above.
My mom is here in Dallas taking care of Ethan and Liam so I can be with the twins at the hospital. This evening, she hurt her toe in a painful-to-look-at way. It made Dave's eyes water, and my mom nearly peed her pants from laughing at Dave!
After a visit to the ER, we found out it is broken!!
WARNING: If looking at broken bones makes you queasy/uncomfortable, do NOT look at the 4th picture.